I’m glad to be listed in this directory, which includes a number of colleagues here in Seattle and in the State of Washington. Having a Polyamory-Friendly Professionals Directory is both a reflection of need, as well as how widely practiced poly is becoming.
I would like to acknowledge the work of this organization (NCSF), of which I’m a member. Its Kink Aware Professionals (KAP) directory is an important asset for who seek professional services that respect and support erotic and sexual diversities. Here is my listing, and from there you can link to the rest of the NCSF site. I encourage you to support them.
Discrimination Against Sexual Diversity
It’s understandable if you don’t automatically include erotic or sexual diversity in your understanding of equality, non-discriminatory (or at least non-judgmental) society. Sexual activity is a blend of orientation and choice. Society has just recently come to grips with sexual orientation, and the equally progressive movement to understand gender as a socially – rather than just biologically – constructed meaning.
A Social Condition
Erotic maps and sexual practices, no matter what else is socially projected onto them, are fundamental to (understanding) the human self and condition. The social & legal movement towards LGBTQ equality has led the way, as the most current and comprehensive cultural “work” throughout the world.
Yet most societies/cultures tend to force eros into a regulated social domain, with strict personal boundaries, protecting the core of privacy/safety, against the worst in human nature. The threat of harm in the workplace (including violative power plays) is obviously high, and the means to deal with that threat must be firm and clear.
The World of Work
Within an employment context, there is a norm of suppressing outward expressions of eros, part of the broader emotional suppression that most work cultures “require”.
…but he didn’t get the memo
But Don’t Go There
Very few people however can or will “come out” with their multi-relational preferences or polyfidelous leanings. Or their social preferences for expressing eros. This risks being shunned or stereotyped, in ways that hurt careers.
Further to my new blog style, (the pursuit of ‘less being more’, with a mischievous element too), I am going to leave off this complex subject right here, ducking complexity. Happy to reply to any comments…
Is BDSM becoming a mainstream/majority practice? Thanks to Dr. Justin Lehmiller for his blog article, which supports the idea of a convergence or merger into a new hybrid of sexual behavior.
Monogamous, Monogamish, Poly
I’ve previously addressed the idea that there can be a dialogue and development of relational practices between monogamous, “monogamish” and polyamorous people. If we can digest and excrete “regressive-competitive” attitudes, people can develop their relationships and themselves more dynamically.
We may want the clarity of bright lines between “vanilla”, and “kink” like BDSM. I would argue that our digitally-driven social blender will evolve sexuality into an endless variety of practices and relational structures,
The management of jealousy is one of the primary skill groups that people will need to handle the most typical tensions and problems. (UPDATE: if you are reading this post and are curious about jealousy, please check out this more recent blog post for a review of jealousy in its many forms, with helpful therapy tips!)