Who I Work With
Kink expresses the part of human sexuality that’s driven by the imagination – by memories both explicit and partially hidden. That ties kink to the most fundamental parts of what can be called the self.
Erotic is the common term for sexual imagination. It runs from tourist-like recreation to a core of complex identities. Eroticism is about wanting powerfully and creatively, taking the risks to explore something that unifies mind and body – that ‘solves a conflict’.
For the past 20 years, I have worked with erotic and sexual minority clients. Most often they see their kink as a resource, not the problem requiring therapy. Yet it’s still a road of self-discovery that can have its rites of passage.
They may be discovering their kink identity, or are experienced kink practitioners or educators. The journeys often heal – and become a part of adult personal development. We know from research that they may also need the skill of an experienced mental health diagnostician.
People need kink-proficient therapists so that this key part of their identities can be accurately seen, affirmed or assisted by informed perspectives. The therapist should be able to focus on the client’s personal experience, without needing basic education about the kink itself.
Erotic, gender and relational freedoms come with minority stresses, especially for people of color. The sex-negative, mono-normative (puritanically-based) oppression of social, political and legal systems is connected to other forms of socio-cultural dominance.
Many kinky clients also need a therapist who’s proficient in non-monogamous relationship work. There’s considerable intersection between kink and non-monogamous communities and cultures.