Who I Work With
Kink expresses the part of human sexuality that’s driven by the imagination. That ties it to the most fundamental parts of what we call the human self. Erotic is the common term for sexual imagination. It runs from touristically recreational all the way to spiritual and socio-political.
Eroticism is about wanting powerfully and creatively, taking the risks of exploring how to feel fully alive. For the past 20 years, I have worked with erotic and sexual minority clients. To clients who identify as kinky, I offer an addendum to my standard disclosure statement.
Most often, they see their kink as a resource, not a problem requiring therapy. I’ve worked with people discovering their kink identity, experienced kink practitioners & educators – from occasional visitors to the devoutly spiritual. Their journeys are usually healthy – and potentially healing – part of adult sexual/personal development.
People need kink-proficient therapists so that this key part of their identities can be accurately seen, affirmed or repaired with informed perspectives. The therapist should know enough to explore the client’s personal experience, without needing basic education about the kink itself.
Erotic, gender and relational freedoms come with minority stresses, especially for people of color. The sex-negative, mono-normative (puritanically -based) oppression of social, political and legal systems is an open discussion in this office, and its connection with other forms of bias.
Many kinky clients also need a therapist who’s proficient in non-monogamous relationship work. There’s intersection between kink and non-monogamy communities and cultures.