Relationship Therapy: How Long Will It Take?

Couples seeking relationship and couples therapy in Seattle sometimes ask a particular question when we set up a first appointment on the phone: “How long will couples therapy take?” I’d like to discuss some common reasons for that question, and then offer a different take on it. The Common Reasons The usual curiosity behind that […]

Poly Couples Going Mainstream

Much has been published in the last 15 years about polyamory, – or the more familiar “poly”, in the public discourse. Fortunately, very early in my couples practice, I began to work with poly couples clients who had standing (and evolving) agreements about how (or whether )they would practice sexual, emotional, non-exclusive/non-monogamous relationships. A Brief […]

Some Thoughts On Agreements

My relationship and couples clients know that I usually explore how they “agree”.  As a description of therapy, ‘finding agreements’ may sound rudimentary or simplistic. It may be confused with mediation and negotiation.  One party might think that finding agreement means somebody’s got to sell themselves out. I believe the truth is very different. Helping […]

The Interactive Therapist

Increasingly, clients calling about beginning therapy say they are looking for a therapist who is “active” or “interactive”. This usually means that the client wants the therapist to speak openly and even frequently, to disclose how the client and his or her situation(s) are viewed. Recommending actions to take, specific techniques and “tools” to use […]

Error, On The Road To Accurate

The idea of a therapist ‘making mistakes’ or ‘being wrong’ disturbs everyone involved: the client (and possibly a spouse, best friend or family member), the therapist, the therapist’s clinical supervisors (were they to learn of the error). Therapists are health care professionals; the clinical context is not that different than seeing the doctor. Critical aspects […]