Clinical Style

Relational therapy

I began my approach to relational psychotherapy twenty-five years ago. The original model I used, detailed in “Constructing The Sexual Crucible” integrates partner sexualities into treatment.

I have since studied the Internal Family Systems approach, best known through the book, No Bad Parts 

Regardless of who I work with, and the clinical model I use, I use my understanding of the lifelong process of differentiation.  (Both models make use of it.)

Differentiation is about evolving, maturing and finding a clear sense of self. It’s also about developing greater immunity to adult-level anxiety via self-soothing, Differentiation nourishes relationships by balancing feelings and thinking. It’s the heart of personal development – having a self and fulfilling relationships with others.

It’s also non-normative – ideal for clinical work with kinky and non-monogamous clients.

Individual therapy 

I always use a developmental perspective. That’s about how people, families (including chosen ones) and relationships shape people over time. Seeing adults as constantly growing (especially in relationships) creates productive therapy far better than an emphasis on what’s wrong or pathologic.

Here are some published influences on my work.