Who I Work With
Adult relationships stimulate personal development. They bring a mix of gratification and frustration that drives personal growth throughout adulthood. My responsibility is to facilitate with respect and compassion the growth that relationship creates.
All psychotherapy should be fundamentally collaborative. That’s especially true for relational work. We create an alliance, serving the relationship by supporting individual partners’ personal growth.
Partnerships usually have a mix of common desires or goals, and others that may be gridlocked. Gridlocks are hard to tolerate but useful for personal & relational growth. Growth comes from tension: partners must be self-validating/caring, and at the same time relationally developing their feelings, thoughts and actions.
On one hand, I believe conflict is necessary and good. On the other, fights are often very costly and rarely produce benefit. Arguing is the middle state, exhausting but useful for learning self-soothing. Moving toward productive, respectful conflict and coming to terms with real differences is differentiation in action.