How narratives are formed
Erotic narratives are not necessarily in story form (beginning-middle-end, etc.) The erotic doesn’t come from a simple, linear, logical or sequential place. And it doesn’t necessarily take a fixed shape. To be continued…
Starting with clues
To begin with, mystery is a well-established part of the DNA of erotic arousal. And so therefore is curiosity and learning, two powerful human engines, that are often underfed in the rest of life.
This is one way to define sexual boredom – the belief that sexually you’ve seen and done it all with a partner, that you have at best a workable/functional “sexual script”, outside of which no one really goes. To emerge, I believe partners must affirm that they want, and choose, an imaginative life together – not just a multiply committed one.
Committed partners don’t have to feel mystified about how to re-engage this way. We can piece together narratives, via numerous erotic “templates” from personal clues – past and present. Templates can be expressed in so many ways; they form core elements of the self: power & control, pain & pleasure, security & anxiety, among others.
Next, Narratives, Part 3